Here’s an oldie that no one but Lem has ever looked at : )
After trolling around the 70’s and 80’s in the Netflix queue (there’s not much else), I found something more modern, the dud that is “The Resident”. I do remember this being advertised and then released but I don’t remember hearing about this breaking any box office records, and now I see why. Boring from start to finish, this really did nothing for me the entire time except make me wonder why the production company thought this would be a good movie to make. Maybe it went like this:
“Let’s make a movie with hot stuff Hillary Swank slinking around her apartment in her underwear.”
“Ok, sounds good”
“Let’s throw in a perverted and demented landlord who skulks around in cavernous tunnels behind the walls and spies on her taking baths and sleeping.”
“Wonderful. (hasn’t this get done to death?)”
“Add Jeffrey Dean Morgan?”
“Um, ok.”
“Let’s use some of that ‘Thriller’ budget.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
Well, this is not at all thrilling, Swank prancing about isn’t what you might expect, Morgan plays it off all right, but these situations they are in, really? Pass on this grass.
E.R. Nurse Swank is sad and lonely after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, living in a motel, weeping. As luck would have it, a beautiful, redone, dirt cheap apartment opens up and the moony eyed, sweet, charming, owner / landlord Morgan accepts her in and gives her the keys without even a background check. Soon enough she is bathing and it is rubbing lotion on it’s skin and being spied on by a mysterious and lurking peeping tom. I wonder who it is. Oh wait, got that figured out from the commercials. No suspense there. Blah, blah charming Morgan shows up at an art show, shyly woos her, are they going to do it?? Oh no, she has a change of heart at the last second and tells him it’s not right. I bet he comes unglued now, right? Yup. The rest of the “stalking and spying” story plays out very slowly until we culminate to the slow ending and then a slow roll to the credits. Boresville.
Two top hats for: not being from the 80s, Hillary Swank, no CGI and not 3D.
